Home / Questions / A recent conversation in a Room about parent regrets uncovered a common theme: the pressure to be perfect. When did we start believing that ‘good enough’ wasn’t enough?

Jul 21, 2026

A recent conversation in a Room about parent regrets uncovered a common theme: the pressure to be perfect. When did we start believing that ‘good enough’ wasn’t enough?

Lynn Cross says:

We’re constantly surrounded by messages telling us that every moment matters, every decision shapes our children, and every mistake has lasting consequences. We start believing that if we aren’t constantly getting it right, we’re getting it wrong.

But the truth is, our children don’t need perfection. They just need parents who are present, willing to listen, repair, apologize, and keep showing up. <3

0
sapnarshah@gmail.com says:

Accept my deepest apologies because I was responsible for some of those messages. But I got to the point where, if I had to spend one more second focusing on how a brand made each ‘moment’ and ‘memory’ perfect, I was going to do some harm.

Personally, I think about when good enough stopped being enough – living in Manhattan when my first two were born. Perfectly sculpted and coiffed new mothers in their perfect athleisure strolling down the street with their quiet newborns in their perfect strollers. I wasn’t even sure what I was wearing or when I’d get a chance to take a shower, much less get a blowout. And I had to constantly hear from my non-Indian pediatrician about how my Indian newborns were underweight (try using a weight graph that actually represents the rest of the world, genius. It would’ve saved us both from some grief).

I was a mess. And the more of a mess I felt, the more frustrated I got about how un-perfect I was, so the more I tried to be. Because if I wasn’t, my children would become derelicts and end up in prison.

(Someone will make a drinking game out of how many times ‘perfect’ shows up on this post. I’m sure of it)

1
Julie Vessel says:

And/or, why isn’t enough good? As someone who’s always been drawn to “better” and “more is more,” I think I’ve missed out on a lot of good by not appreciating enough. Trying to select on that lately. Enough is good. If I choose to go more, great. But not because enough isn’t good. Can ambition and contentment coexist?

0