Home / Questions / We may have been the first generation of women to grow up believing we could ‘have it all.’ What has ‘having it all’ done for you and to you?

May 23, 2026

We may have been the first generation of women to grow up believing we could ‘have it all.’ What has ‘having it all’ done for you and to you?

Ashley Prymas says:

Not sure anyone has it all, but certainly it has led me to making professional choices that probably wouldn’t have been afforded to me a generation ago. I did work while having a young child as did many of my female colleagues did and we formed a close camaraderie.

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Tara B says:

Unfortunately, believing I could “have it all”, and then not “having it all”, has lead to more than a few disappointments later in life. It’s something that became so ingrained that it’s really hard to unlearn and re-adjust my expectations for life.

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COBE says:

While I believe the opportunities afforded to women of our generation suggest progress and we can be thankful to our foremothers, it is also a dangerous message to be told we can “have it all”….it’s not how society is structured. The opportunity and impossibility of “having it all” I think creates a mental health crisis for many women of feeling as though they are somehow falling short when they actually cannot. This can lead to incredible feelings of anxiety or depression. Re-adjusting expectations by better understanding the flaws in the societal messaging and structure of life comes with experience and also by forums like this where women can receive validation.

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Clara Hansen says:

I agree…”having it all” sounds so catchy and almost achievable. But it is not achievable, at least not “all” at the “same time”. Then again, what does “all” mean; clearly it means different things to different people. And there’s a societal view of “having it all” and it creates this superhuman image and superhuman view of life that are simply not realistic, hence not achievable. The more healthy approach is to say that I am going to have different things at different times of my life, but not all at during the same period. You have to prioritize and make choices and shy away from the “having it all” is the only way to live.

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sapnarshah@gmail.com says:

That I’m going to have different things at different times OR that I’m not going to be 110% at everything. I’ll be 110% at one thing and 80% at all else.

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BRANDY GONSOULIN says:

For me it’s not, you could have it all, but you were supposed to have it all. And I’m the point, I don’t want most of it.

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Terri Coleman says:

Im in my late 50’s now. When in my mid thirties I saw 3 female professional woman in my life be discarded (in their 50’s) and replaced with younger “less expensive” versons of them. The new hires of course lacked the experience of the more senior women.

I just knew that would not be me. That’s when I opened my own company. It was not easy, but at this point I know I made the right choice. I ALWAYS got to choose when i did what I had to do…I was able to attend the kid’s softball gams and work later that night. Flexibility was my “ALL”.

My “have it all” has always been to be in control of my life and my decisions. For some people “have it all” is to pay your bills on time, and live with the security of a constant paycheck. You need to define what you want and what you are willing to give up to acheive it.

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